Movie Review by Lindsay Barrow
Jake’s got 99 problems… and unfortunately for Jake, a lady named Sandy ain’t one.
See, Jake got into a little money problem with some gambling types. And to make good on his debt, he’s gotta go work as a driver for The Naked Eye, a strip club / prostitution den. So, Jake’s got a lot of problems. And no one who understands him, so he’s feeling pretty lonely.
But while working as a driver for the club, he finds Sandy, the mythical “Stripper with a Heart of Gold”. Oh she’s a rare creature, once found only in Pretty Woman; man has been searching for her since the early ‘90’s. But Jake found her, and they really get each other.
And then guess what? Nope, they didn’t find their Richard Gere and ride off in a tiny little car that runs over George Costanza. No, this is where those two movies’ similarities end.
Sandy goes and gets herself murdered. Oh Sandy! You have to be careful when hanging out with drug dealers, pimps, and other prostitutes. Remember when your mom said,“Those types of peoples are the bad types of peoples”? No, you don’t. Because you’re dead. If you had remembered that at the beginning of the film, you might not be dead.
Well Jake really liked you Sandy, and now he’s pissed. Jake’s going to find out who killed you. Jake may not have the best head on his shoulders, especially when it comes to money, but he does know that it’s just not right to kill people.
So he heads over to The Naked Eye to have a little “conversation” with the Pimp, aka, his boss. And the Pimp has a whole book of names of people that might have murdered Sandy. Real unsavory types. So Jake’s going to kick some ass. And take some names. No literally, he took the pimps name book and he goes on an ass-kicking rampage.
Jake’s like Elliot Stabler from Law and Order SVU, only with the ability to really take care of business. He’s a one man killing machine and he’s not going to stop ‘till Sandy’s death is avenged. And all I can say is “Go Jake Go!” This is definitely a film for your movie queue!